


ice cream sundaes

by fanfoolishness (LoonyLupin), LoonyLupin



Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [36]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family Feels, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 13:36:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21393031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/fanfoolishness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin
Summary: After the Gem War and Spinel's attack, Greg wasn't expecting any new crises, but a phone call from Pearl makes him realize Beach City is not as calm as it seems.***Steven finally begins to talk to Greg, Connie and the Gems about the trauma he’s experienced, but love and support aren’t the only things he needs.  Sometimes you need a little extra help. And that’s okay.Written before SUF aired, a canon-divergent trio of stories examining Steven’s mental health. Stories include Full Disclosure, ice cream sundaes, and Growing Things.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Greg Universe & Steven Universe
Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523993
Comments: 39
Kudos: 282
Collections: Steven Universe Completed Recommended Reads





	ice cream sundaes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Full Disclosure](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195020) by [fanfoolishness (LoonyLupin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/fanfoolishness), [LoonyLupin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin). 

> A companion piece to my story Full Disclosure: this is Greg's reaction to Steven's breakdown, and how he helps him.

_Warm summer night, don’t cost nothing…_ **  
**

Greg woke with a start, his dreams slipping away. For a moment he wasn’t sure what had woken him up, but then he realized it was his phone, buzzing and blinking in the dark of the van, louder than the summer crickets and the sound of waves.

_What the– _who would call him this late, or this early? Fear was thick and sudden in the pit of his stomach. He reached jerkily for the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Greg? Greg, please come to the house. It’s Steven.”

“_Pearl?_” 

“Greg, please –” She was crying, he could hear that much, but there were sounds in the background. Voices hushed and urgent. Greg lurched through the space in the front seats, clambering into the driver’s seat, swearing when he banged his leg on the gear shift in his panic.

“Pearl, what’s wrong? Is Steven okay? Did some Gem thing happen to him –” _But the war’s over. Nothing’s happened since Spinel attacked last year. _His mind raced with possibilities.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” wept Pearl. The voices in the background rose, fell, blurred together. “Amethyst heard something and when we came out to investigate we found Steven and Connie just _crying_. Connie said there wasn’t any fighting, and Steven’s physically all right…. But please, Greg, hurry.” She paused for a moment, apparently listening to one of the voices. “He’s asking for you.”

Later Greg wasn’t sure how he made it safely through the streets. The streets might have been empty but his driving was erratic and much too fast. Sand spun uselessly under the van’s wheels as he came to a stop. He remembered to turn off his headlights, but left the driver’s side door wide open as he ran up the stairs to Steven’s place.

Pearl greeted him at the door, wide-eyed. “Come on,” she said, and together they took the stairs two at a time in the dim lamplight. Greg took a deep breath, willing himself to stop shaking.

“Hey, kiddo,” he called shakily as he crested the top of the stairs. “Dad’s here.” Garnet and Amethyst turned to him, both of them sitting on the edge of Steven’s bed. Garnet’s visor was off, and Greg could see that she and Amethyst had been crying as well. Steven and Connie sat beside them, holding onto each other.

Steven looked younger than he had in years, though it wasn’t his height that had changed. Maybe it was the way he curled into Connie’s arms as if he feared he might lose her; maybe it was the way his pajama shorts looked too big on him, rumpled and half-tied. Maybe it was the slow, halting way he lifted his head up to look at them. His eyes were so swollen that Greg wasn’t sure Steven could see. His chest seared at the sight. 

“Dad,” said Steven, his voice so small Greg could hardly hear him.

“Mr. Universe,” said Connie. He realized she was in her pajamas too, her hair out of place and shadows under her eyes. She clung protectively to Steven. “Steven called me about an hour ago. He said he needed help.” She’d faced down Gem monsters and Diamonds without blinking, but Greg could see the fear in her now, plain as anything. “There’s a lot I don’t think he’s told you.”

Garnet and Amethyst joined Pearl in sitting on the ground beside the bed. They each reached up and patted Steven on the knee in turn. Steven nodded numbly to them, then rested his head back on Connie’s shoulder, closing his eyes.

“Steven? What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He sat down in the empty space next to Steven, reaching out automatically to pat his bare back. Steven’s skin was clammy with sweat. “It’s gonna be okay, Schtu-ball.”

Well, maybe he didn’t really know if it was gonna be okay, but he had to do what he could to make it happen. He leaned down, trying to catch Steven’s eye with his own. “Hey.”

Steven couldn’t speak. He stared down at the floor through his puffy eyes and bit his lip, apparently trying to find the words. He looked so tired. 

The past few weeks Greg thought he had been imagining it, the pinched, weary look on Steven’s face. He’d chalked it up to a growth spurt, or playing video games all night long, or talking to Connie on the phone when he should be sleeping. He was forced to admit he’d been completely wrong. This was beyond tiredness: it was sheer exhaustion, and he could see now that it went to the bone. Why hadn’t he seen it before?

“It’s okay, Steven. You know you need to tell them,” Connie whispered. 

“Please, Steven,” said Garnet. Her hands twisted together, gold and silver bands glinting. Pearl and Amethyst nodded. 

“Whatever it is, we can handle it,” said Amethyst fervently.

“How can we help if we don’t know what’s wrong?” asked Pearl.

“There’s just so much,” Steven said faintly. He buried his face in his hands. “There’s too much, and it’s all too big to think about, and I didn’t – I didn’t want to worry anyone.”

“You’re not responsible for our feelings, kiddo,” said Greg. “That’s not on you.” But he looked at Steven with his face in his hands, and he remembered where he’d seen him do that before, beneath a baleful green sky in the front seat of the van. Steven’s words rang just as clear as ever. _They’re trying to protect me, but I have to protect them! _

“But everyone needs me. I’m a Diamond, not a little kid,” Steven mumbled. “I’m supposed to be strong. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could pretend it was fine. But it’s not fine. I can’t sleep – I keep remembering – I’m having these terrible dreams –”

Garnet gently pulled one of his hands away, and he reluctantly lowered the other. She gazed into his face. “You’ve done so much, Steven. Let us do this for you.”

Steven looked back and forth between Greg and Connie and the Gems, looking scared. _Hunted_, maybe, was a better word, and Greg fought to keep himself calm, seeing Steven’s half-frantic expression. He could freak out later. Steven needed him now.

“You can do this, Steven,” said Greg.

Steven’s mouth thinned into a tight line. “I don’t know where to start,” he admitted.

“Well, what did you dream tonight?” Connie asked. She reached up, brushing some of the sweat-dampened hair back from his forehead. “You could start there. One step at a time, right?”

Steven considered her words. “Yeah. I guess that makes sense.” He let out a long breath. “I dreamed about Homeworld. When we fought with White Diamond. Do… you guys remember?”

The Gems nodded. “Of course we do, Steven,” said Pearl. 

He shook his head. “No, you don’t. Not – not this part.” His breathing became faster, erratic. He trembled under Greg’s hand, and Greg gripped his shoulder tightly. “Connie’s the only one who… I made her promise….” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Steven. Breathe,” said Greg. _What happened on Homeworld? I knew I shouldn’t have let him go, I knew something happened that he didn’t want to tell me, but I didn’t want to push, I let it go –_

“Do you want me to tell them?” Connie asked. Tears trickled down the end of her nose. 

His face fell back into his hands. “Please,” he said, the sound muffled.

Connie leaned her head against Steven’s, swallowing. “Do you guys remember what happened to Blue and Yellow? When White finally paid attention to them?”

Pearl stared at Amethyst with wide eyes. Garnet was so focused she had gone utterly still. “White Diamond took over their gems.”

“Yeah, but… but you told us this part,” said Amethyst in confusion. “You said White Diamond knocked us out, or brainwashed us, or whatever, but you were able to change her mind.”

Pearl wrapped her arms around herself. “I always thought it seemed too easy,” she said under her breath. “I knew White Diamond. She was always convinced she knew everything. I knew she would never change her mind so easily –”

“Yet she did change her mind,” said Garnet. “So we believed what Steven had told us: that he spoke with her, and she listened.” 

“Connie,” said Greg. He was very, very cold. “What did White Diamond do to him?”

Connie’s face screwed up into a teary grimace. “She kept calling him Pink. She wouldn’t listen to him. She told him he was weak, and that he made everyone else weak, too, and – she – she said it was time to stop playing. Time for Pink to come out.”

“No,” breathed Pearl, horror dawning on her face. Greg didn’t understand. What did she mean?

“She _pulled his gem out_,” Connie sobbed.

The words hung there, awful and final and cruel. Greg stared at Steven, eyes frantically flashing to his son’s belly where the familiar pink gem shone as bright as ever. And yet – and yet –

Garnet was frozen. For a moment, it was literal, ice shimmering on the floor beneath her crossed legs. Pearl wailed on Amethyst’s shoulder. Amethyst looked like she was going to throw up. And Greg felt a terrible, endless hollow blooming in the pit of his stomach. His eyes burned.

“Steven, I’m so sorry, I should have been there –” Greg hugged Steven so fiercely his arms ached with the effort. Steven shivered in his embrace, breathing as hard as if he’d just been running, his face damp against Greg’s neck. 

“I was dying, Dad,” Steven choked. “I could feel it. I was so scared…” He gulped. “My gem. It reformed into another me. It had all my powers, and it fought back against White. But all I knew was that I wanted to be myself so bad.” His hands knotted themselves in Greg’s shirt, forming fists. “Not Mom, not Rose, not Pink Diamond. Just… me. I had to be. Or I was gonna die.” 

“No!” Amethyst cried, slamming a fist into the floor. “That’s not _fair_! How could she do that to you?” Beside her, Pearl tried to stifle her sobs.

The ice beneath Garnet melted, and she bowed over herself, weeping. Greg had never seen her like this before, and even with everything else, it scared him. “Steven – I’m sorry – I never saw –”

“Please – just let me –” Steven shuddered. “I felt so sick. Everything hurt so bad.” He closed his eyes, deep in memory. “I tried to get back to me, back together, but I couldn’t even walk. I just fell. So I tried to crawl, but I knew I wouldn’t make it.” His breathing slowed, finally relaxing. “That’s when Connie carried me.”

Greg reached out. Wordlessly he pulled Connie into the hug, too, and the three of them huddled there, arms around each other.

Steven raised his head. He tried to laugh a little, the sound strange and foreign when paired with his reddened eyes and blotchy face. He gave Greg and the Gems a watery smile. “Connie saved me. She carried me to myself, and that’s when I knew that I’d _always_ been me. Me and no one else.” His smile faded. “You don’t know what that meant to me.” He stared down at his gem, dark eyes fixed on its pink surface, and he no longer looked young and scared. Instead, he looked older than Greg had ever seen him. 

“No,” Greg murmured, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I guess I don’t.”

Steven laid a trembling hand on his gem. “The two of us laughed. We danced, and we fused, and I was me again. And I was so happy to be me that I… couldn’t bear to think about the rest. So after everything, when I realized you guys didn’t remember, I – I didn’t want to remember either.”

“You asked me not to say anything. You said you’d tell them yourself. But you didn’t,” said Connie haltingly. “That was really hard. I had bad dreams, Steven. Dreams where I couldn’t get you there in time, and you didn’t make it… I told my parents they were just about school.” She wiped at her eyes. “I know why you didn’t want to tell them. But it was still horrible.”

“I know. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to keep a secret.” Another watery smile, this one rueful. “I guess not talking about it didn’t make it any better, anyway.”

A tinny noise was going off in Greg’s ear, a whine that became a buzzing roar. He tried to remember how to breathe. _He almost died. He almost died. I almost lost him._

“Dad? Are you okay?”

“Greg,” said Garnet firmly. “None of us knew. This isn’t your fault. Don’t –”

“Steven, why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell _me_?” Greg asked before he could stop himself. “I’m your dad! I have to know about this stuff! I know you’re the one with the shield, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to protect my son!”

“You can’t protect me! Not from stuff like this!” 

“Maybe if we’d known, maybe if I’d been there –”

“No!” Steven snapped. His face was a mess of snot and tears, filled with mingled pain and an anger Greg had never seen from him. He pushed Greg’s arms away, panting.

_You messed up, Universe! _“Steven, I’m –”

“I knew this would happen!” Steven burst out, leaping to his feet and whirling to face each of them. “I knew I’d have to see all of you hurting just because of something that happened to me, and it was bad enough going through it the first time! Do you think I want to keep thinking about losing my gem? Or White brainwashing Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl? What about what I had to do to Bismuth? Or Eyeball trying to kill me when I thought I was going to die in space? Or Lars _actually dying!_ Of course I don’t want to remember that stuff! Of course I don’t want to scare all of you and make you cry! I knew this was why I shouldn’t say anything –” He collapsed back onto the bed, laying flat on his back and crying silently, his hands over his eyes.

Greg stared helplessly at Connie and the Gems. For a moment, they were speechless.

Connie was the first to move. She laid down on her back beside Steven, cautiously taking his hands in hers. “You can’t keep burying it, Steven,” she said softly. “It’s killing you.”

“I know, I just – I can’t hurt anyone else with this stuff,” he sniffed. “It makes it even worse.”

Greg reached down and gently brushed away a tear from Steven’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. Steven looked ashamed, and opened his mouth to speak. Greg beat him to it. “Don’t apologize, kiddo,” he said firmly.

“But I made you cry. I yelled at you –”

“Well, I messed up. So maybe I deserved that.” Greg sighed. “Look, Steven… I think I speak for all of us when I say we aren’t perfect. I think we’re gonna make some mistakes when it comes to trying to help you with this stuff. I’m sorry for that. And for everything you’ve been through.”

“We’re sorry, too,” said Garnet, her three eyes thoughtful and sad. “You’ve come so far as a Gem that sometimes we forget we need to help you be human.”

“We’re still learning how to help humans, after all these years,” said Pearl with a tearful smile. “And we want to help _you_. We love you.”

“We’ll get better at it,” said Amethyst determinedly. “Think of how much you helped all of us, Steven. Now it’s our turn.”

Connie sat up, wiping at her face. “I have an idea, too. It’s a fully human solution. It does take a long time, but it’s something that helped me a lot when we were always moving and I didn’t have any friends.” She looked around at them all. “Support from family can mean so much, but it’s not always enough. We all love Steven, and that’s _great_, but sometimes, it’s best to talk to someone who doesn’t know you at all.”

Steven gazed up at Connie, and Greg studied his face carefully. Morning sunlight streamed in, bright and brilliant. It sparkled on the drying tears on his face. For the first time all night, Steven looked almost calm. “Yeah?”

And Greg thought, _He can do this. _

_**We** can do this._

* * *

Greg sat in the parking lot of a small strip mall in Ocean Town, the back of his van opened to let in the fall breeze. His fingers picked idly at his acoustic guitar. He had a bright little melody going, something that would work nicely with the riffs Steven had come up with last night. He’d have to see if Pearl wanted to write a bass line for it at their next jam session. He played it through several times, working out the kinks, and was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Steven walking up to him.

“Hey Dad,” Steven said, jumping into the back of the van and nudging him with a shoulder. He looked a little worn out, but in a good way. Nothing like the exhaustion of a few months ago. “You sounded pretty good there.”

“Aw, you’re too kind to your old man,” said Greg. He put the guitar away and gave Steven a quick one-armed hug. “How are you doing, kiddo? Want to head out now, or would you like a minute?”

Steven mulled it over. “No, we can get going. I was just going to meet up with Connie later. Unless you want to stay and practice more.”

“Stay in Ocean Town? Are you kidding?” 

Steven chuckled. “Point taken, Dad.”

They drove in comfortable silence for a few blocks before Steven glanced at him. “You know, I could drive myself now. Or take Lion, even.”

They pulled up to a stoplight. Greg turned to his son, aching with a powerful mix of love and affection, regret and pride. “I don’t mind driving you, Steven,” he said quietly. “I mean it.”

Steven let out a sigh, and gave him a small, shy smile as the light turned green. “I didn’t mean I wanted you to stop. I – it’s nice. Knowing that you don’t mind waiting for me.”

“I want to be there. Honest,” said Greg in relief. “Besides, would _Lion_ take you out for ice cream every week?”

Steven giggled. It was a sound Greg hadn’t realized he’d missed until he started hearing it again, a few weeks ago. “We both know Lion has terrible taste in ice cream. Lion Lickers? Come on. Pure trash.”

“My point exactly.” Greg pulled the van into a familiar parking lot. They headed inside the Oceans of Ice Cream and ordered their usual, settling into their regular booth with a heaping banana split with all the fixings. The ice cream concoction towered before them, balancing precariously in a cheap plastic bowl shaped like a schooner. They clinked their spoons together – plastic, shaped like octopi – and dove in.

“Cherry man!” Steven pushed the cherry on top over to Greg’s side of the sundae, then attacked one of the six flavors of ice cream piled on top of the banana. He winced for a moment. “Eurgh. Brain freeze. Delicious, delicious brain freeze.”

“It’s the price we pay,” said Greg solemnly, fighting back a similar issue of his own. He _had_ to remember to give the ice cream a moment to warm up next time. “Eesh.”

Steven took another bite, looking steadily at his spoon. “So I, uh, we had a good session today.” 

“Yeah?” asked Greg, collecting as many walnut bits as he could to mix in with the whipped cream. He wrangled them expertly with his spoon, listening carefully.

“Yeah,” said Steven, sitting up straighter. “I got to go through a lot today. And it wasn’t as hard as it used to be. It was really helpful.” He wiped a bit of hot fudge off his cheek. “Ben’s a really good listener.”

“That’s what he’s there for,” said Greg, looking up from the sundae to smile warmly. “I’m really glad he’s a good fit. I know not every counselor was able to go with the flow on the Gem stuff.”

Steven shook his head. “Yeah, the first one almost passed out when I showed her how to summon my shield as an example. I’m sure she’s great with most humans… I’m uh, just not always like most humans.” He took a big bite of fudge ripple. “But I feel like I can _say _that there. Like it’s okay to bring up the stuff that scares me, in a way that’s not… overwhelming?”

“That’s good, Schtu-ball. How are you feeling when you talk about this stuff with your old man, or the Gems?” Greg asked. He had his own ideas, based on how things had been going recently, but he wanted to hear Steven say it. He swallowed banana and mint chocolate chip.

“A lot better.” The scoop of strawberry ice cream vanished in the space of a few bites. “There’s still some things that will always be hard, I think. Stuff about Mom, especially. I’m working on it.” He licked his spoon thoughtfully. Somehow a bit of whipped cream had gotten on his nose. “But overall, it’s getting better.” He wiped at his nose with the sleeve of his jacket, then grinned. “I think_ I’m _getting better. Though I still always manage to make a mess with my ice cream.”

Greg blinked back sudden tears, looking at his son. He saw for a moment a chubby little boy covered in whipped cream, giggling with delight, leaving sticky handprints all over the table. “Some things never change. I used to have to bring a whole new change of clothes for you when we went to get ice cream. You’d even get it in your _hair._” 

“I remember that,” Steven laughed. “Hot fudge is the worst to try and rinse out later. Whipped cream’s not so bad, though.” 

Greg gazed at Steven. He was no longer a sticky-handed little boy, but once more a young man sitting tall in the booth across from him, with Greg’s eyes and Rose’s curls, a young man who was stronger and kinder and braver than either of them could have ever hoped. 

Greg set his spoon down in the empty bowl. “But some things do change. For the better.” He reached out and squeezed Steven’s hand. It wasn’t sticky at all. 

“I’m really proud of you, Steven.”

Steven looked quietly back at him, his eyes shining. Greg thought he looked braver than ever. 

“Thanks, Dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> this precious boy deserves all the help and love in the world <3 <3 <3


End file.
